Another night,
another day to come. I feel pressed though, finals coming up, my grades in
shambles, I’m not doing exceptionally well in any subject. Yet I feel content
with all this within the stress of it all. Currently have a 1.8 in college
which should be a 2.4 or so because of a 0 class. I think for most people
that’s a reason to be stressed out. I’m not stressed out for the fact of low
grades however. I feel almost forced to participate in college… it’s heart
wrenching because I wish I could go on some silly endless endeavor to become
what I want. I’m gaining stress from various things at this point. Money to pay
for college, not being able to get a job after, doing something I may not
really want to. I like college and the college life yet I tear at myself
because I would rather do something else. MMA, Video game shoutcasting, Game story
board design, something more with computers maybe, or just write short stories
and such for a newspaper/website and just live my life out like that. Do I want
more though? I want to become some form of doctor… but it’s 10 years of more
education… that’s stress. I’m not even exceptionally good at psychology either.
I’m just a person who can reflect well with other people and hope they can see
the other options; I don’t want to do nothing either… I’ll feel like trash…
This stress is…
well, avoidable I suppose. I have passion for psychology, however it’s looking
more and more equal to my other hobbies of fighting, cooking, gaming, writing
and so on. People say they never know what they want to be when they get older
even when they ARE old. However there has to be a decision somewhere right? I
have to choose between my many hobbies to achieve an enjoyable job. If I ended
up getting a job for the rest of my life that I didn’t like I might as well
give up now. Options cause stress… yet options show freedom? There are so many
factors to this it seems crazy. Do I even need to do something like this? This
college stress life? Yeah, I kind of do when I think it about, just more
knowledge for later on. I suppose that’s why the most dangerous points in life
are the crossroads. I choose a path and see what happens. My life has been full
of walking just to see what may fall on me. I’ll walk this college path for at
least undergraduate, despite what others think I have a bit of a feeling
something will come my way and I’ll just have to jump on the opportunity
regardless of it being good or bad. Seize the day right? or whatever time a
person would prefer.
